2/18/2020; Week 7: Differences in Manners

When I was a kid, manners and etiquette were very important in our culture. Doing the right thing, at the right time, and in the right way, were all marks of a good person. The book above was the "bible" of manners, and if you had a question about what was correct, you could "Ask Emily Post!" 

Being trained in proper manners in your own country is a great tool as you interact with others. Sometimes, however, you may find yourself, as a teacher with English Language Learners, in the presence of someone from a different culture, with a whole different set of manners! So, allow me to offer you a brief course here, which I will call: 

"Manners: from Head to Toe." 

We start at the head: 

• In the United States, it is considered rude to stare at someone. In other countries this may not be so. You might find others staring at you (especially if your physical appearance is drastically different from those in your environment). Stay calm. 
• There are times when you may need to blow your nose. In Japan it is very rude to blow your nose in public. Find a discreet place to perform that duty. 
• When yawning, always cover your mouth. (And do not stretch out your arms when yawning.)
•  Chewing gum is considered vulgar in some places, and gum has been banned in Singapore.  
•  When eating: In China, do not eat everything on your plate (your Chinese host may think that you are saying that he is not generous enough, and he will refill your plate!). Also, in China and Taiwan, belching after your meal is considered a compliment to the chef, a signal that you have enjoyed your meal. 

We move now to the arms: 

•  When we eat in the United States, we are expected to keep our arms under the table. In many other places the forearm is expected to rest on the table while eating. 
•  In Asian countries, a person will often reach out and offer you their business card. Consider it as an extension of themselves, and treat it with the respect that you would show to that person. 
•  In most Arab countries the left hand is considered unclean. Thus, never wave to someone with that hand. 

On to the hands: 

•  In some cultures, delivering something to someone else requires you to do it with both hands. Referring to the comment above, never deliver it with only your left hand.
•  In the United States and Great Britain, a firm handshake is preferable. But in some places, that is seen as a sign of aggression. 
•  In the Middle East, strict religious practices forbid shaking hands with someone of the opposite sex who is not a member of your family. (A Muslim man will shake hands with a non-Muslim woman, however.)
•  Be careful of using hand gestures. A "thumbs-up," "Peace/Victory"sign, even waving, or indicating "Stop!" can be misinterpreted in other countries. Even exposing your palms is very offensive in Greece. Study about these to be sure you are not using offensive hand gestures. 
•  Putting your hands in your pockets is considered by some to be too casual. 

Next we will consider the whole body: 

•  Be aware of how you sit or stand. Do not sit on the table. Don't stretch out in a reclining position, hands behind your head. These are considered rude by some. 
•  Be aware of the personal space of yourself and others. 
•  Do not "stake out" your personal space in a public area. Some cultures do not consider that space as "yours," and you may be surprised to have "guests" eating with you for dinner! 

The feet: 

•  In many Arab cultures, it is considered very disrespectful and insulting to show another person the bottom of your feet or shoes. 
•  In South America and Asia, be sure to remove your shoes when entering someone's home. In Europe, ask if they would like you to remove them. 

A few general things to consider: 

•  Remember that everyone's sense of promptness is different. 
•  In Japan and Korea, tipping is considered an insult. 
•  In very expressive cultures, do not be upset if people seem to argue with each other. 

As our little course in manners has indicated, different cultures and countries may have different ideas about what is proper and polite. Be sensitive to others' feelings. Do some research on the subject, especially if you are going to visit somewhere new. 

Remember that we are all brothers and sisters, separated by oceans and borders. Treat others with the respect that you would expect from them. 

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References: 
https://content.byui.edu/file/3b9f9a3b-1633-41fd-a1cb-371052401ec8/1/Differences%20in%20Manners.html

https://people.howstuffworks.com/13-examples-of-good-and-bad-manners-around-the-world.htm#page=0